Karen Emden gave up her first out-of-wedlock child for adoption when she was 17.

When she became pregnant again eight years later, "I was ecstatic and overjoyed. Steven was not a replacement for the first baby, but I do know there was a sense of deep loss, as if I had left something unfinished years before."

The father of the second child never showed any interest in being a parent. "It was a lightweight, transient relationship that withered. I kind of wish he'd make a token appearance," said the 31year-old Miss Emden, who lives in New York.

"Yet, I like the fact that Steven is all mine with no other individual laying claim. I wanted something uniquely mine. This is my responsibility, my idea, my project, my relationship."

When Steven, now 6, asks about his father, Miss Emden says she tells him: "He doesn't live here. We cared enough for each other to make a baby but not to live together. Fortunately, more than half of Steven's class have singleparent families.”

It has not been easy these last years. Miss Emden and her son are both in psychological therapy. She says she is quite sure she never wants to marry. She says she is a lesbian.

Miss Emden is studying for a degree in psychology and is on welfare.

"That (being on welfare) bothers me, but I know I'm not abusing it," she said. "I wanted to go to school and prepare myself for a positive function in society. Having Steven made me realize that I would have to pay a lot more attention to where I was going in life.

"But I'm so proud of myself. Steven has given me deep satisfaction, and I'm making use of all the positive feelings he has generated. I'm much more interested in my-self and the world."